Gaining Confidence and Contentment with the Life You’re Building
There’s a column I read years ago where a reader was asking advice about whether he should have children. The columnist, later revealed to be Cheryl Strayed, provided the reader with some sound advice, but what took my breath away was Strayed’s achingly beautiful wisdom:
“I’ll never know and neither will you of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore.”
Ugh. Still gets me every time. I’ve spent a great deal of my life agonizing over making all the “right” choices (by whose standards I’m still not sure). Get good grades, land the right job, get promoted, get married, have a family, be the perfect parent/spouse/child/friend/employee. And on it goes. The great irony is that as I learned to release my white-knuckle grip over how things should be and see how they’ve unfolded, life’s inevitable detours ended up being the jumping off points to the next great chapter of my life.
Seeing the beautiful tapestry of my life coming together, and finally realizing that I can always change course, has given me confidence and peace with how my life is unfolding. It’s taken many years and a lot of work to change that mindset, but it’s a wonderful way to view life and helps me accept my path and make peace with all the sister lives that could have been.
In what ways have life’s detours pleasantly surprised you? What is one thing you can do today that is a vote for the life you want to live?
Natalie
P.S. Here is the link to the full advice column. Worth a read for anyone who has a weighty decision on their mind, family building or otherwise.
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